The Spirit of Offense

Offense is a spiritual hangnail that keeps us from forgiving people.

We all need to take responsibility for our own lives and not be offended, even if people mean to offend us or not. The idea here is: “You need to always make me feel good, otherwise I will get mad!”

Jesus did not get offended when they denied him, abused him, and threw rocks at him. He knew where He came from, who He was (is), and where He was going. The most important thing is to know who YOU are in Christ. Your value should not be determined by how someone else has treated you.

Mark 11 25 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

What do you think people get offended by the most?

Champions refuse to be offended – Drop it leave it. Walk away from it. Champions will not live in offense.

1. David had many opportunities to be offended. The fact that he did not become offended shows at least one of the reasons why he was God’s choice.

          B. I Samuel 16:1-13 – David could have been offended because he was left out. His father did not   even consider him as a possible choice for king.

          A. I Samuel 17:28-30 – David turned away from offense.

2. Paul

          A. II Timothy 4:16 – At Paul’s first trial, no one stood with him. He refused to be offended.

Satan has launched an aggressive attack to keep us offended. Each individual may have hundreds of opportunities each week. Offense is not a “little problem” – it is a demon!

3.  Jesus had numerous occasions to be offended, but He refused them all.

          A. Mark 3:21 –  His own relatives were ashamed of Him.

          B. Matthew 26:36-56 – His disciples would not even stay awake and pray with Him one hour before His Crucifixion. They never really understood Him. (We get very offended when people don’t understand us.)

          C. Luke 22:54-62 – Peter denied Him.

          D. Matthew 22:15-17 – The Pharisees constantly tried to entrap Him.

     Are you easily offended?

What Is Offense?

1. Offense (defined/Vine’s/Greek skandalon) – The name of the part of the trap on which the bait hung that lured the animal into the trap.

          A. Satan uses offenses as bait to lure us into a life-time of bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, and even hatred.

2. Offense (Vine’s definition continued) – A hindrance or a stumbling block.

          A. When we allow the spirit of offense to come in, it becomes a hindrance and a stumbling block to us. It causes us to stumble in our walk with God.

3. Offend (defined/Webster’s 1828) – To displease; to make angry; to affront. It expresses rather less than ‘make angry,’ and without any modifying word, it is nearly synonymous with displease. We are offended by rudeness, incivility and harsh language. Children offend their parents by disobedience, and parents offend their children by unreasonable austerity or restraint[sternness or restrictions].

          A. Actually, many things offend us; and we are offended far too easily and too often.

We need to determine not to be offended, and seek to keep offense out of our lives.

1. Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.

2. Philippians 1:9-10 (NKJV) – And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ . . . (Read Amplified version also.)

3. Psalm 119:165 – Great peace have they who love Your law; nothing shall offend them or make them stumble.

Six types of offense:

1. Taking offense   3. Offended by the truth   5. Offending the Holy Spirit  
2. Giving offense   4. Offended at God   6. Offending yourself  

Offense and Cold Love

1. Love is spiritual warfare, and we cannot love with offense in our hearts.

           A. Matthew 24:12The love of the body grows cold because of the lawlessness [of offense] and other iniquities.

          B. Matthew 24:11When people are offended, they are more easily deceived.

2. We cannot pray or worship properly with offense in our hearts.

          A. Mark 11:22-26We must walk in love for our prayers of faith to be answered. We must forgive!

          B. Matthew 6:9-15Forgive others for prayer to work.

          C. Matthew 5:23-24Leave your gift at the altar and make peace with your brother.

3. Offense turns into deeper problems.

          A. Resentment, unforgiveness, bitterness (which makes the entire life and person bitter), and hatred

4. Love Covers Offense

          A. Proverbs 17:9 – Love covers offenses.

          B. Cover (definition) – To close, conceal, hide, or keep a secret.

                    i. Genesis 9:21-23 Example of Noah being drunk and his 2 sons covered him.)

          C. We must learn how to have “closure” on offenses. Don’t even leave a crack in the door; close it permanently.

                      i. Don’t speak about it, don’t dwell on it.

Do you gossip about yours or other people’s offenses? Be real.

Matthew 18:15 (AMP) 15 If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother.

How many of us, go and tell someone else when someone offends us instead of the brother or sister in Christ?

1. I Peter 4:8 – Above all things have intense love, for love covers a multitude of sins (forgives offenses).

2. I Corinthians 13:5 – Love is not touchy, fretful, or resentful – people are, but love isn’t.

          A. If we truly want to be like Jesus, we must give up our right to act like ordinary people.

3. I Corinthians 3:3 – Paul told the believers they were acting like mere unchanged men. They had strife                    between them.

People easily offended are:

1. Selfish – Anytime they don’t get their way, they get offended.

2. Insecure – Their love tank is empty; and when they don’t get their way, they feel rejected.

3. Negative – They believe the worst and should believe the best.

4. An easy mark for Satan – he baits the trap, and they take the bait every time.

5. Miserable – Being offended makes you more miserable than the other person.

6. Hindering God’s plan for their lives – they cannot go forward with wrong things in their hearts.

7. Unwise – Any time God tells us in His Word not to do something and we do it anyway, it is unwise.

8. Not free – forgiveness is freeing.

Matthew 18:34-35 – The offended individual has no peace of mind. Without peace, he has no joy.

Most of the ground that Satan gains in the life of a believer is gained through unforgiveness!!

Things People Are Easily Offended By:

A. Rejection

B. Not being included or forgotten

                 1. Examples: You did not invite me, forgot my birthday or anniversary, etc.

C. Having our opinion ignored or rejected; people not agreeing with us

D. Not getting our own way

E. Having to wait

F. Grouchy people

G. People who are not like us

H. Church services that are longer than we think they should be

I. People who interrupt us when we are talking

Have you ever been offended by one or more of the things listed above?

Be determined to live without offense. Refuse offense every time it is offered. Treat it like the plague!